First, I want to make it perfectly clear that I'm not judging anyone or condemning anyone who is divorced or thinking about getting a divorced. I just felt that I needed to blog on this subject. Our divorce rate seems to be skyrocketing out of control. It is just too easy to divorce rather than work out our problems. There doesn't seem to be a commitment to one another in our marriages.
Divorce, we probably all know someone who has been divorced. This is a terrible event in peoples lives. It breaks up whole families. It affects first the married couple, then the children, the parents, grandparents, and their friends. The list goes on from there. It just seems that it is to easy to get a divorce and that is not how God planned it. I know that divorce happens all the time in the world, but whatever happened to the marriage vows. It seems like people go into marriage with the idea that "if I don't like it, I'll just get out of it". Before there was the No Fault Divorce, the couple had to have a good reason to divorce. Just because you were mad at someone, or they did things that you didn't like, this was not a good enough reason to get a divorced.
Many times I feel that people think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Then when they get on the other side, they find out that it is just plain grass. It's not any better. I don't believe that there is a perfect marriage here on earth. There are many storms that blow in and out of marriages. Sometimes they last awhile, but they always seem to blow away. Couples just need to weather the storms. Lets start with the wedding vows. I'm not going to repeat all of them, but you have made a vow before God. Till death do us part.
From Websters Dictionary.
[What is a vow?]
Vow- A solemn promise or assertion, one by which a person binds himself to an act, service, or condition. To bind or consecrate by a vow.
[What is a marriage]
Marriage-The institution whereby men and women are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family.
Let's start at the beginning. When God created man He said;
Genesis;1:26(Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the seas and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over the whole earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.") After this God decided to give man a helper.
Genesis;2:18(Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him".) So we see that God wanted them to be together. God meant for them to stay together.
Genesis;2:24(For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.) When God said one flesh, that is exactly what He meant.
What About Divorce?
I will tell you what the Scriptures say about divorce. When the Pharisees came to test Jesus, They said;
Matthew;19:3(The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?")
Jesus answers them this way.
Matthew;19:4-6(And He answered and said to them," Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.) They came in with this trap trying to snag him. So then they tried this;
Matthew;19:7(They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?) Jesus answered;
Matthew;19:8-9(He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.") This doesn't mean that you have to divorce the other person because of sexual immorality, but it is permitting divorce only in extreme circumstances.
Jesus also tells us;
Matthew;5:32(But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.)
Now I want to talk about a healthy marriage. First and foremost, you have to put God first in your marriage. If you put Him first, you are on the right track to a successful marriage. You need to be able to forgive and forget. Love remembers no wrongs.
[Love]
1Corinthians;13:4-7(Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not prvoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.) So, if you truly love your husband or wife, you should be willing to overlook any wrong that they have done.
[Instructions To Husbands]
Ephesians;5:25(Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,) So we are to love our wives with sacrifical love.
Colossians;3:19(Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.)
Ephesians;5:28-29(So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.) Your husband or your wife is your other half. You have become one flesh in your marriage. You are not two anymore, you are one.
Jesus gave us an example of how to love. He was willing to give His life for me and you, because He loved us so much. Do not divorce your mate. If at all possible, stay together. You can work through anything with God's help. The storms will blow away and there will be good days ahead. Give God a chance to heal your marriage. He can and He will if you ask Him to save your marriage. Pray together, ask God into your marriage and put Him first in everything. I pray that you will ask for help from Him.
God Bless You!
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